I often notice how important it is to be flexible. I remember hearing many times during my studies that a person – and relationships – are closer to health the more flexible they are. How different this is from rules, order, and moral commandments. Of course, these are important elements of functioning, but when they dominate, people begin to suffer unnecessarily. They struggle. They forget about life, spontaneity, relaxation, and fun. I have often been among them.
One morning, when I was almost drowning in all these rules in my inner world, I entered the Institute where I work with people and saw a parked bicycle (!) on the white (!) carpet in the kitchen. Naturally, I was flustered – I was just expecting a new client who was coming for the first time, and I started wondering what they would think about the space, about me, about my work…
As I was spinning in this circle of thoughts, the “perpetrator at the scene” appeared. I looked at him angrily and asked what the bicycle was doing there. He calmly – not indifferently (!) and at the same time humorously – responded with a song:
“Someone stole my bike because I didn’t lock it properly with the chain …”
My anger instantly turned into laughter, into giggles.
A few hours later, the bicycle was taken away. I admit, I felt relieved. What was important to me, however, was that he heard me and responded so gently. So gently that it quickly became clear to me that the client’s decision to undergo therapy had nothing to do with the bicycle. The bicycle, however, had a lot to do with laughter, fun, relaxation – and also with order and rules. If one just waits until the end of the story.
